Get out of my locker.
2004-04-14
2:44 p.m.

Who the hell is this JoJo chick? And where does she want this guy to "get out" of, her locker? She scares me. A lot. She represents scary teenage trampiness in a way that hasn't terrified me since that Olsen twins show, Two of a Kind.

Trampy little kids freak me out and make me scared to be a parent. Not like my dad wasn't horrified by my trampy phase, but whatever. I still fear giving birth to a lovely and pure wee girl and then being dragged on Jenny Jones under false pretenses ("I thought this was a free makeover") to be ambushed about how I let my kids dress for school. I'm not too good about controlling things or being the voice of authority, so I can only imagine what my teenagers would get up to.

I think that JoJo plus going to the mall during school vacation and seeing the swarms of reeeeeally low cut jeans fa-reaked me out. It's cut-throat out there, man. With my awkward genes and my husband's Coke bottle glasses prior to the ability to care for contacts, we're going to have the most be-braced, be-acned, and squinting into the sunned children ever, and if they attempt bared midriff on top of that, I fear for them.

Oh, babble.

So, taxes are due tomorrow. I still haven't filed. I need to print the completed files and I can't find the printer cables since we moved. I think I have to go buy a whole new printer just to do my taxes. But, that's okay, because my old printer SUCKS. It's a Lexmark z12, and I never got more than 10 print outs off of each 27 dollar printer cartridge I bought. Worst purchase ever. So I sort of needed a new one anyway.

Planned obsolence pisses me off. Since I've been unemployed, I've been trying to fight it more vocally. We bought a $9 can opener at Target about a year ago, and it slowly disintegrated before outright just falling apart about 2 months ago. Normally I would have just been irritated, but I decided to actually do something about it this time.

First, I replaced it with a 25 cent opener that I got at Goodwill. It works about 100 times better. Then, I emailed Target and asked for a refund, because I don't like companies getting away with filling landfills with useless products that customers have paid full price for. Then I wrangled them into paying for postage for me to mail it to them. They agreed to all this, and will hopefully be reimbursing me for the item. I want to hit them where it hurts. Maybe I should try to get paid back for this useless printer as well? It pisses me off that it was pretty much designed for the landfill.

Hmm. I should say something fun. Go look at Amblus's clown.