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2004-01-22
5:46 p.m.

Ah, hello my little monsters. Sorry I haven't been around, but I took a wee trip and have been out of range. Being unemployed and yet supported by your spouse means you can do things like drop everything and go to Europe. Not that that is what I just did. Except it is. I was in London and Paris and a few assorted English towns. Didn't I just go to London and Paris a few months ago? Yes, I did, but I wore bad the first time around hand me downs growing up so step off. Ha. I am going through a pre-baby post-miscarriage this is my last chance to do anything selfish phase. So there it is. At least know that I feel like a spoiled brat and marvelled constantly that I was able to do it. And I ate almost all of my meals in the form of cheapo premade sandwiches from Marks and Spencer to save money. I love how I'm making myself into a bigger asshole by justifying this all over the place.

Speaking of Justified, what the crap is up with Britpop? I mean, damn. The best theory I've heard so far on it is that the British Government subsidizes the entertainment industry and they are bound to rocket fully unremarkable people to stardom in order to give other unremarkable teens hope. It's the only explanation. My friend and I kept watching TV and yelling at these people. Who are they? And why do people buy these CDs? Like Now That's What I Call Music 56, which is a packed two disc set. Why? Seriously. I do not understand.

The most fabulous thing about England is the tabloids. I heart Heat, Now, and New. There was a little nugget called Star in my final copy of New, which seemed to be focused on stars with sweat stains (GASP), with bulges in their tummy from sitting down (OH MY GOD) and other hilarious gaffes. How can they live with themselves, the sweaty bulgy bastards? The best was the feature on how Donatella has, in fact, turned orange. Now that's what I call journalism. 56.

Ah, but I'm back. Moving to the southwest makes for a much longer flight, but British Airways has movies. The guy sitting diagonally across from me watched Freaky Friday all three times the movies were on. Wow. I'll admit to watching it once, but that's really it.

Speaking of Lindsay Lohan, what is up with her two upcoming movies? They sound like cloned scripts. First there's Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen, about a displaced New York teen who moves to the suburbs where she isn't as cool as she was in the city. Okay. The second is Dramarama, which is about a teen whose parents drop down a few tax brackets and pull out of her prestigious school where she's the top drama talent and she's forced to go to public school. They changed like half a plot point, it seems. Maybe they were even able to use the same sets? I bet the guy sitting diagonally in front of me is really looking forward to both of them.

Ah. Okay then. Back to housewife duties. Which are playing with the cats and reading magazines. Sweet.