Oh sweet merciful internet.
2003-12-17
9:47 a.m.

Ohhhhh, I am back, my little monsters. Sweet internet, how I have missed thee.

Anyway. I live in Tucson? In a giant white box of a house that makes me wonder if I should pad the walls? Or maybe paint? But first I should probably finish unpacking. So let's get back to the decor questions in approx. 4 months.

So, what's the news? Who wants to hear about flying cross country (or very nearly) with 2 cats, twice? You do? Okay then.

Flight One, Molly and Chewy.

Molly HATES travelling. She flips the ass out en route to the vet one town over. She howls the whole time. We flew first class that time (sweet, sweet America Airlines automatic upgrades for Platnium travellers, and my sweet sweet husband who racks up over 100,000 miles a year thus automatically platniuming himself) so we had room for kitty loves. Chewy slept the whole time. Molly howled the whole time (thankfully the jet engine drowned this out, or first class would have drawn and quartered us) and nearly lost her voice. Since it was 10 hours door to door (with a layover in Chicago) I was actually amazed that she didn't. But they generally did well, bless their little hearts. We lived with them in Tucson for 3 weeks while Maverick and Chelsea temporarily stayed with my grandmother in Massachusetts. All was well.

Then I flew back to Boston to see a friend's show, coordinate the packing and loading for the move, and collect the remaining kitties for the final leg of the move from MA to AZ. I got them from my grandmother and drove them home, and they were both fine. Maverick didn't spray the carrier with diarrhea, anyway. Big improvement. I was thinking that maybe this next flight would be okay.

Ha.

Fast forward to three nights of being snowed in in Boston, and three rescheduled flights. Empty house, car buried behind 10 foot drift in driveway, sleeping on the floor. Mooching off neighbors for food and blessed coffee and repeatedly making a mess of the house yet again with tromped in snow. Sorry, new owners, we vacated in the middle of a blizzard. Oops?

Anyway, so we arrive at Logan 2 hours early on what is basically the first day it's been open in a weekend plus. We have two cats in tow. Maverick shat as we were walking in the doors. Ha. It was SO crowded with people trying to get out. I're really never seen anything like it. The lines stretched the entire length of the concourse. We were there 2 hours before take off, and if we hadn't had my husnband's first class check-in rights, we would have missed our flight. Madness.

Anyway, so Maverick is caked in shit and we're baby wiping off this MASSIVE orange cat and coming away with these handfuls of Huggies wipes and soft, frightened cat crap. In the middle of the first class line. Important looking men with long cashmere coats were on either side of us, trying not to look horrified, but they couldn't stop their noses twitching with the stench. HAHAHA. Oh god, poor Maverick. He actually kept it contained in one small area and we were able to get almost all of it. After we were done, you only got the most vague dirty diaper stench every 15 minutes or so. Until he peed while we were in the air. But that's a different story for another day.

They were both freaked out but did okay, considering. They both made their noses bleed by frantically rubbing their faces on the mesh windows, which was so sad. They're healing well, though. Poor kitties.

Anyway, so we are in the new place, finally, and I'm attempting to unpack. I bought a car (I've never owned a car before. I am 26 years old. I've never needed one. I am not a fan of the driving.) and I drive it to the assholes meeting at Starbucks some morning. I feel like a target market for asshole products, as it is a gleaming silver SUV and I just lady of leisure it all over the place. Fucking crap, I annoy myself. Why didn't I just get a freaking Corolla? But we got this (and I swear to god, it's small. It gets 24 miles to the gallon) so we could take it camping. Which puts me in a whole new group of annoying. Or not. I think maybe I should shut up now. Or get a job. Or both.

Anyway, that's it for now. Massive unpacking to do. Massive, massive, massive. Yuck.

Being offline sucks. I became frightened and confused when I couldn't Google. I used a phone book. It was not pretty.