Generally I just go to work, go home, and make my cats chase fake mice.
2003-09-23
10:43 a.m.

Someone found my diary by looking for "pictures of scary ass clowns." I love the search referrals. Get your floor sealent and scary ass clowns here!

I feel kind of like ass today. Hold me.

I guess I'm still on my list. Weekend confused me.

28) Remember "fuck tags"? No, because you didn't go to my backward junior high school with no real entertainment besides strange repurposing of everyday objects to mean something bizarre. They were soda can tabs, broken off, and girls wore them on necklaces. Boys gave them to you after you did the deed, supposedly. I, of course, didn't know this, as it was not a feature plot in a Babysitter's Club book. I just knew girls were wearing them. Please note that we were 12.

Anyway, so these were popular, as were Vuaranet shirts. I went to Boston for a weekend with my family, because my mom was having chemo or something equally horrifying. My dad, feeling bad for me because I was a blob of awkward hormones and bad hair on top of the fact that my family was totally falling apart, so he bought me one of the coveted t-shirts. I was thrilled, and bolstered by my amazing and popularity assuring shirt, I strung some soda can tabs on a necklace, threw the shirt on, and proudly walked to the bus.

When I got on, there was immediate murmuring. One of the girls that I was so desperately copying pointed at my front, and I thought my shirt, and said, "Who gave you that?" and I said, "My dad." Everyone cracked up and I was the butt of jokes for, well, ever. Or a few weeks. Ah, awkwardness and trying too hard. Good times.

29) Have I mentioned that I was a weird kid? I kept a rubber chicken in my locker. I'm still not really clear on why.

30) Also in my locker was a collage of pictures of the Brady Bunch. This was 94. Yes, I was That Girl.

31) I was also the girl who would not shut up about Tori Amos. She was deep, man. I still have something like 24 Tori Amos CDs, and I honestly can't remember the last time I played one. Senior year of college, maybe? I remember vehemently defending her, and writing long, rambling reviews for the school paper. Embarassingly, they were published.

32) I was the editor of my school paper in high school. I was involved in a scary number of activities, from "community action" to environmental groups to the weightlifting club to the track team to the swim team to the band (even though I didn't play an instrument when I signed up -- we had a flute in the basement that was just waiting for me to ruin concerts with it) to the science education group. The science one I joined for the ski trip. Compared to this list, I do nothing now. Sometimes when kids on the street ask me to buy chocolate, I buy it. Sometimes when places send me mailing labels, I actually give them money. But generally I just go to work, go home, and make my cats chase fake mice.

33) 32 was long and rambly. Sorry.

34) My hair looked and felt like a compination of straw and ass yesterday. I panicked and made a hair appointment for today. Today MY HAIR LOOKS AWESOME. I shake my fist at the sky.

35) My parents watch The West Wing. If I call them on Wednesdays, they get mad. Sometimes I call them during commercials (and I don't even watch the show -- I just check to see if it's on commercial) and pretend that I want to talk. Good times.

36) Despite all this torture, my parents still like me. Aww. My dad probably even finds this funny.

37) I am weirdly close to my father. We are like two peas in a pod, if you will. We even look alike. I talked to him on the phone so much in college that my floormates were equal parts mocking and jealous. Or something.

Okay, more later. I require coffee now.