It's a Whale of a Time. Also, Ass Clowns.
2003-09-10
11:05 a.m.

You know what's a funny phrase? Ass Clown. Especially when you think of Ass Clowns 3, the porno that has Ashcroft filled with unmitigated rage that he will funnel into an attack on First Amendment rights. Which, honestly, does sound like a pretty horrifying flick. Although the thought of Ashcroft watching it (or even having it described to him) kind of cracks me up. There is a scene, reportedly, in which.. I can't even say it. Ha? I am not a religious person, and yet I can't even say the words. Please see paragraph 20 of this story. Will I be struck by lightning for posting the link?

Now that we've covered angels and anal sex, let's move on to the more everyday stuff.

My job sucks. As in sucks. I was in denial Monday and about half of yesterday. Then I actually read my whole project list (instead of just working on one of the projects) and had a mini-panic attack, which is honestly the only size of panic attack that fits in my shared closet of an office. Then I had a meeting in which one of the only two things I'd managed to wrestle off my plate was reassigned to me, despite the fact that I held out with the firm "I'm sorry, but I can't" for a good 15 minutes. So, I did the wuss thing, and stuck around until 8:30 p.m. doing work. Sadly, it makes no difference. The piles have not been dented, and I'm still basically where I was: With the work of two people and no cloning machine. Bah. Whatever, I can only do what I can, and when it crashes and burns I will just cower in the corner. Maybe the flames will take care of the persistent ant problem in my office that the "exterminator" with a tool box with a roll of tape and a jar of peanut butter couldn't quite handle on his own. For some bizarre reason. Like, maybe the complete lack of any sort of pesticide.

I love the digression. It always takes me to fun and unexpected and sometimes scary places. Like Whalom Park. Whalom! Lunenburg in the house! I really don't expect 99% of people reading this to have any idea what Whalom is, so I guess I'll put it this way: Whalom is where probably a good 70% of Scooby Doo episodes could conceivably take place. My parents took us to this decrepit "amusement" park when we were kids and it's honestly a miracle that we're all still here. The rides were scary not because of speed or height, but because they looked, sounded and felt like they could collape at any minute. In short, it was awesome.

Good times.

I am afraid I will miss fall. I want a cider donut from Atkin's Farm (I love the irony of Atkin's farm (no relation) being famous for donuts) and I want to go apple picking. I fear I will spend the season slogging away in the creepy anty stuffy basement that is work, though. Blah.