Truck beds, convertibles, I-Rocs with open sunroofs, beware.
2003-09-03
1:54 p.m.

This turned out to be a very disjointed entry. I love how I say that like it's an abnormal occurrence.

So. What's up? How's it going?

I actually say "How's it going?" WAY TOO MUCH. It is my standard greeting, without regard to the formality of the situation. I am a greeting communist. Well hello, Ambassador. How's it going?

Anyway. Whee.

I just had an itch on my face and was suddenly gripped with OH MY GOD I HAVE FLEAS. Except I do not have fleas. It was merely a twitchy itch thing. Except there it is again. Hello, fleas. How's it going?

So, I didn't update all weekend. I really don't have much to report. There was cleaning. In fact, I spent nearly 90 dollars on cleaning products. I did spend 90 dollars, but some of it was toilet paper. Which, now that I think of it, is actually a cleaning product. In summary, I did spend 90 dollars on cleaning products.

Could someone please hit me in the back of the thigh with a tranquilizer dart (and spell check?)? Because then maybe I will stop typing when I cease to make sense.

Anyway, the house was a mess. The cats are Litter Trackers, and they had be-littered most of the house. There was vacuuming, there was sweeping, there was swiffering, there was wet swiffering, and there was Murphy's Oil Soap spot cleanings. And, yay, there is now shiny floors. For now.

I even scrubbed the baseboards. And the wainscotting. I cleaned things I hadn't even thought of cleaning. I did not get bored, but I did get dry hands. I require gloves next time. Mental note made.

I am abusing you all with this boring blather. And yet I enjoy it. Ah, the blather, much like lather. (GOD I CANNOT STOP. I keep getting distracted and as soon as I look away and come back we are all in for it.)

Anyway, I have no highlights. Only lame. Tomorrow I will post pictures, though. And an embarassing story.

Oh, here's something. When I was younger (read: from ages 17-22) I used to entertain myself by putting tampons in unsuspecting vehicles. Truck beds, convertibles, I-Rocs with open sunroofs, beware! There will be OBs on your seat. Try explaining THAT to your Tampax using girlfriend.

I think maybe that was an evil phase of mine. Either that or I was a really bored teenager living in an annoying tourist hotbed. Or both.