I would like to get in on that non-working action
2003-05-01
2:01 p.m.

I took yesterday off.

And you know what? Sha-zaam! It ruled. Perspective! There is life outside the office on weekdays! I now spend my time wondering how these people who are frolicking pay their bills, and wonder if I can get in on that action. Yes please thanks.

Unfortunately, I did spend most of yesterday in a basement. Except I was not at a desk. I was instead scraping my basement walls with a wire brush, vacuuming up water, and glopping on DRY-LOK masonry sealent. It was very exciting. I also went to Home Depot and bought more sealent, cement floor paint (Brick Red. I wanted the slightly less appealing color but vastly more appealingly named Brick House but went with the Brick Red and figured I could sing it while painting anyway.), seeds, and miscellaneous house crap (mainly basement sealing related). Fun.

My husband wants us to write down all of our work that we do on the house with the date that we do it so in 7 years or so we know to re-do everything. He was all, "Hey, write about this in your journal! The on-line one! Except make it funny and interesting!" What? Okay. On April 31, 2003, we attempted to seal the, er, east facing corner of our basement. We still have an assload of wall to finish and we only managed the first coat. We blow at this Bob Vila crap.

That was neither interesting nor funny. It was, in fact, a PSA directed at potential homeowners: Bring your landlord with you when you move.

Also, I was trying to plant in my garden (after cornering some non-Home Depot working guy at Home Depot and asking him whether or not tomato plants come back every year (they don't)) and I ended up just tossing the seeds on the ground and then kind of covering them up. Dude, they were really small and came with no instructions. I have a feeling that my garden might not yield much this year. Whoops?

Trivia Trivia.

Dear jackholes who reserve the good tables for pub trivia,

You are lameasses. Trivia is always full, and it should be first come, first serve. Everyone else glares at you the whole time because you suck. We don't not reserve tables because we forget or don't think of it, but because it violates the Trivia Code by which we all live. PS Five people per team only, not 7 and maybe that's why you made the top three.

Thank you and good night.

I am so freaking petty. But god damn it trivia is important and yes I get the irony of that.

I think I have gained a thousand pounds.

Okay, not a thousand, but a few, and holy hell I'm bloated. I know this is temporary, but trying to find old pants that I could get paint on and could move in was hell yesterday, and made me feel like massive crap. Massive being the operative word. I really, really have to stop drinking so much. Damn. All the old pants must fit and the self-loathing must end. I'm going to the gym tonight. Yuck and yuck to how far along I've let this gain go. I lost about 30 pounds about 2 and a half years ago and 15 have crept back on. Sucks and ass. I must fight them.

Rudest Person Alive.

I had a run-in (ha? not really. I didn't react, so I guess she was rude near me, mostly. To me, also, but I just totally ignored her and silently sent her 'you're evil' vibes.) with the rudest person ever. EVER.

My husband and I were waiting to order at this local fast food type place (Kelly's!), and they'd just revamped their line system. There were all these ropes, and on one side it said "order here" and on the other it said "pickup here." Makes sense, right? Except the signs and ropes were so close together that you were standing in both order and pickup no matter where you stood.

Everyone (including the cashiers) was confused, and we were directly behind this sweet older lady who kept getting shafted by people bypassing her line, not out of malice, but out of confusion. The lady was getting ready to assert herself, and this loud, VILE woman got into line behind us and started kicking up a fuss. She yelled at the woman and the woman sweetly said, "Is this the order line? I wasn't sure. These signs are confusing." The vile lady was like, "Well, some of us can read and some can't." What? She repeated that about 12 times, and called the lady "Cookiepuss." What? Cookiepuss? I don't even know what that means. She then said that the New York in her says for that lady to speak up and get a move on. Get a move on? Attributing rudeness to a state? I was mortified for everyone involved, and we were the only two people between this lady and the old lady she was attacking, and we just kept silently gawking at the mean attacky woman because we couldn't even believe that she was being so cruel to the nice, obviously confused older lady. Then, when it was our turn, we were about to walk up there and the woman shoved me. Shoved me! I was so shocked that I couldn't even react. I just walked to the register and ordered deliberately slowly.

To recap: Cookiepuss? Shoving over fast food? Geographic Location = Excuse for Insane Rudeness?

Anyway, should I have said anything? I'm of the opinion that when someone is that awful, it's best just to be polite and let them look like even more of a jackass in comparison than to make them feel justified by being rude back to them. But my husband thinks I should have reacted when she shoved me (he didn't notice that she had, he was in front of me). I'm not terribly articulate when I'm angry, so I usually like to mull things over before I say anything. When someone else is getting pissed on, I'm much more likely to speak up, but I'm also worried about embarassing them further so I have that someone is trying to get on the elevator I should push the hold button whoops the doors are closed crap indecision and I miss the window.

Anyway. That lady sucks and I hope she enjoyed her freaking food. Even though she blows, I almost feel badly for her, because it's got to suck to have that much vileness bubbling that you let it fly at sweet older ladies over a fast food bottleneck.

The end.