Uniform of Lame Desperation
2003-03-26
9:41 a.m.

Uniform of a Dork.

So, yesterday I realized that I feel incredibly frumpy in my work clothes. It's like I'm just making an effort to dress appropriately, with no thought to style. So I basically end up looking like an appropriately dressed stooge.

I'm supposed to strike that balance between khakis and suits. It's a really grey area. I don't even know what it's called. Business casual? Lame?

My uniform generally consists of trousers, some form of plain (usually ribbed) top, and ankle boots or loafers. I came from a really casual environment (the unemployment line, and before that a really laid back dot com), so when I got this job, it was a total scramble to gather appropriate clothing. I ended up grabbing everything even remotely acceptable without much regard to whether or not it suited me. Bad Idea Jeans? Perhaps. I didn't really have a choice. I had a limited budget, limited time, and limited choice.

Since I'm super petite, pants are hard to find. I struck some gold with Old Navy's Essential Stretch Trousers. They fit and didn't suck. I bought 3 pairs: Brown, Black, and Charcoal.

I'm kind of booby, so button up the front shirts are also hard to find. Either they bag at the waist or strain at the buttons. Suck! So I bought a ton of ribbed turtlenecks and v-necks. I also bought some sweaters. Good times.

I have to walk about 2 and a half miles every day (commute, between offices for meetings in this giant place), so my shoes have to be comfortable. I got a pair of black heeled loafers, and when they proved to be really comfortable, I bought them in brown as well. I reappropriated a pair of ankle boots to dressy enough for work status, even thought they're probably not quite there. Desperate times blah blah blah.

So, that's my uniform. Since instituting it, I've had to stock up on the pants once more (they eventually shrunk and the bottom hems gave way) and occasionally purchase a new top. It's worked out okay. I don't feel fabulous when I'm in my work clothes, but I honestly don't have the budget, the coordination, or the time to pull that off.

Foiled Again.

The only problem is that now I feel super dorky all the time. All of my staples are getting washed out and ragged, and when I'm wearing ragged clothes that I wasn't crazy about in the first place, I feel frumpy and lame. When I'm dressed up, I feel powerful and competent and I think I do better at work. But I honestly can't afford to shell out for new clothes. Even updating the current uniform will be a stretch. Damnable mortgages! Also, damnable non-profit pay!

So. I decided to try to just do my best to rock my current options. This morning, I pulled on the charcoal trousers and a black turtleneck, which is classic enough. Then, I tossed on a grey suit jacket to make myself feel mildly better dressed. It worked. I was all, look at me, all grown up and serious! Then I polished my boots (!), put them on, and walked to the train.

When I got on the train, my right bottom hem unravelled.

Crap.

So now it's dragging on the ground, basically just to make sure that I'm aware that I will forever be spazzy and clumsy and lame, and the time that my yogurt exploded all over my new highly coveted Esprit bookbag was an omen about how my attire will conspire against me for the rest of my life, making sure that everyone knows I'm a slob. A cursed slob.

Actually, I just bought a sewing kit and fixed it when I got to my office. Then I ate a pop tart. Now I'm writing this. Good times.

This did allow me the chance to have the following conversation:

Me: Do you have sewing kits?

Clerk: No. We do have thread, though. And we have these little things with different colors of thread, needles, and scissors.

Ha? Good times.