Kitty Detante Has Not Been Achieved
2003-03-26
3:12 p.m.

It is very possible that I am a total sucker. The Molly and Lucy Wars continue.

To bring you up to speed: On New Year's Eve, my beloved bedrock of the household cat Moo died really, really unexpectedly. He was the glue who held us all together, man. The glue. Molly, our cat who is small and stripey, seemed really lonely (hi, I project), so after only a week, we went out and adopted a new cat, Lucy.

Where Moo was big (fluctuating between 17 and 22 pounds) and lap-loving, Lucy is tiny (6 pounds) flitty and girly. She barely sits still. Their common trait is that merely gazing upon them causes purr onslaught. Ah, kitties.

Molly is a delicate creature. She's scared of her own shadow. When we moved into our new house, it took Molly a full month to voluntarily wander around, and another month to return her tail to full height. She loved Moo, though, so we didn't see a new cat as being something she'd never accept. But it's been three months and Molly is still terrified of Lucy. Which is kind of hilarious because Lucy's about as big as my forearm.

Anyway, we're totally at our wits end. We've tried putting them in their carriers and putting the carriers near each other and singing to them. We've tried each holding one and standing near each other petting them and chanting "kitties are friends." We have supersoakers at the ready, separate litterboxes (hell, separate bedrooms), and lots of kitty patience.

Once, Lucy got out of her bedroom while neither of us were home. When my husband got home, Molly was MIA. I was at a party, so I kept calling in for Molly updates. We haven't been in the house for too long, so we're not 100% on lack of access to the eaves, or random Underground Railroad subbasements (although, considering that the house was built in 1927, I think that's a no), so we were pretty frantic. He finally found her in our basement Teen Angst bedroom (where we keep all our childhood crap -- My Little Ponies and fraternity paddles and whathaveyou) in the center of a roll of eggcrate foam. She didn't even move until he unrolled it all the way. Who knows how many hours she spent down there? How sad and pathetic is my poor little munchkin?

Anyway, so it's been three months. Kitty detante has not been achieved. The shelter who we adopted Lucy from has been pressuring us to give her back and try a new cat. My loyalties, should I have to choose, lie with Molly, obviously, as she's been a part of my family for 4+ years. But, at all costs, I'd like to give Lucy every chance to fit in.

So, I ordered some cat phremone spray off the internet. Am I totally insane? A total sucker? Has anyone heard of Feliway?

I am comfortable with being a crazy cat lady. I wish for my kitties to be friends, or at least to tolerate each other and not be miserable. If anyone has any suggestions, please email me.