Embarassing Vanilla Love
2003-03-24
10:34 a.m.

Public Humiliation.

For some reason, I just had a flashback to gymnastics camp in 1984. The reason that I know it was '84 was because the instructor (whom I emulated in all of her frosted blue eyeliner which was recycled from day to day glory) wore a hot pink mesh football jersey with "'84" spraypainted on it. She was SO COOL. Her hair was feathered in a way which my hair can only dream about, as I do not have the feathering skillz.

Anyway, so my flashback is specifically about our end of season performance, in which we (a group of spastic and only moderately talented 7 year olds) cavorted and somersaulted to "Wake me up before you go-go." We started off "sleeping" (the keys was to lay on the mat motionless in our pajamas) and then all woke up at the same time to choreographed hilarity. I wore a Rainbow Brite nightshirt which I was very, very proud of. I did a small preview for my friend and her dog took my feigned sleep as an invitation to lick my face repeatedly. I took this in stride.

Now I'm having all sorts of performing in public flashbacks. I recollect a cheerleading competition in which we cheer led to "Eye of the Tiger," which angered us, because it was SO out of date and we wanted to do something cool, but our coach was hopelessly out of touch (in fact, she had the same exact hairstyle as Miss 1984 Mesh Top, but a full 8 years later) and went Old School on our unappreciative asses. I remember the sharp intake of jealous breath when Cheshire's squad walked out the the opening notes of Ice Ice Baby. Little did we know that our coach was only saving us from our embarassing Vanilla Love.

Okay then. That's enough random information for now. Carry on.